Condolezza Rice Visits Blackburn Shocker
It has been suggested by a few cynics that the benevolent Mz. Rice's visit to Blackburn, Lancashire, is nothing more than a shoddy publicity stunt - a photo opportunity with a load of local working class Muslims in one of Blackburn's many Islamic Mosques.
But I say No! Surely not!
So I figured I'd compile a list of Blackburn's many attractions that I'm sure are the real reasons why Mz. Rice - International Pacifist and the Spreader of Feel-Good Will - is popping in to say hello.
Blackburn: What has it got to offer?
Well for a start Jack Straw and pals might want to take Mz. Rice to 'splash into action' at Waves - which sports a pink and blue wave pool, full to the brim with delicious germ soup.
Guarenteed to give any young child tonsilitis, cold sores, or bronchitis after one quick dip, it's the perfect breeding ground for pathogenic bacteria. You name it, your kid will catch it. You can even hire beach balls for 1.50, and theres a great communal jacuzzi for the parents!
Alternatively, with her busy schedule and hectic lifestyle Mz. Rice could treat herself to some much needed relaxing shopping therapy around Blackburn's State of the Art Arndale centre - home to retail outlets such as TK MAX, where I'm sure she'd be pleased to know that you can pick up designer gear for less than half the price. Blackburn also offers Superdrug, and Everythings A Pound - I can guarentee that she'll pick up some Amazing Bargains!
And if that's not enough, Mz Rice can Dine Out In Style at one of Blackburn's numerous eating establishments. There's a lot she can choose from - the ever popular McDonalds, Burger King, or even Kentucky Fried Chicken. Spoiled for choice, Mz. Rice will probably not want to leave!
Finally, to end a "Blackburn Day of Fun", she could choose to enjoy the local youth culture and go ice-skating, or even hang around the recently refurbished Blackburn bus station. Don't worry Mz. Rice, even though there's no bar you can purchase our finest bottled cider from our local drinking shops - I recommend Kiwi 20/20, you can even have it without ice...
I'm sure that Mz. Rice will have receive a warm, sunny 'Blackburn Welcome' during her visit. And with a bit of luck she might even end up 'Dropping Her Chips'...
As they say in them there parts - Ey' up Chuck!
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