Bernard Wrigley live at The Scouts Hut, Lancaster

A short video I did of comedian, actor and songster, Bernard Wrigley. Enjoy!

Michelle Major talks about domestic violence: Part Two

In the second part of my interview with Michelle Major, an artist and public speaker who advocates survivors of domestic abuse, Michelle talks about how she used the Internet as an effective way of raising awareness of domestic abuse, and educating women on the warning signs of an abusive relationship.

How important is it to raise awareness of domestic violence?
I did not grow up in a violent home and was never exposed to the ugly world of domestic violence, so when I was being swept off my feet by this romantic yet dominating man I had no idea about the warning signs.

I think it is crucial to educate teenagers about what the definition of real love and caring actually is. I have been teaching for eighteen years and I have seen so many young girls be tricked by that illusion of romance coupled with the traits of possessiveness and jealousy disguised as love.

Girls need to understand that when a boy checks their phone messages and punches a locker because the girl is talking to another boy—this is not love. There is nothing special about being a possession. I believe there is a HUGE need for education.

Control and abuse comes in so many forms other than physical, many forms are subtle and are often misconstrued as other things.

What inspired you to use the Internet to display your work and reach out to other women?
I had always used the Internet as a means to display my artwork, so it seemed only natural to use it as a way to tell my story.

I feel that my story is very powerful because to the slashing of ninety-four of my paintings. I realized the more people in my community view my butchered artwork, the wider the door becomes for another abused woman to come forward and tell her story.

My strength to come out from behind those societal taboo doors of domestic abuse allows others to open up and start the healing process.

I realized that each time I shared my story an impact was made on someone, be it a mother who told me her daughter was being abused, or a woman who told me about a past marriage where she was hurt and has never fully healed, or a woman who told me her mother was beaten daily and she grew up watching this happen.

As an artist, putting hurt on canvas helped heal my wounds quicker than any other therapy, and I have realized that is a powerful tool to help other women heal by sharing their story.

The more a woman opens up and talks about her own personal experiences past or present, the more scope there is for healing.

You also use social networking sites such as Facebook to engage directly with other people. How useful have you found this?

So many people have a story to tell, and when someone else has been there and knows what abuse feels like, knows what terror feels like, and ultimately knows what survival feels like - hope can be found there.

People commiserate and feel empathetic to a survivor of domestic violence, yet no one can truly say "I know how you feel. I understand what you are going through" unless they have experienced that trauma.

Facebook and other social networking sites are the ultimate catalyst for sharing and healing. The internet can reach into the nooks and crannies of the world and touch more people than our minds could possibly fathom.

The bottom line of my story is - if that woman can do it, get out, leave the abuse, survive and begin to actually live life after almost dying at her husband's hands—maybe, just maybe, I can too.

Although personally I may never meet each woman who sees my artwork, views my website, or views my posts on domestic violence forums, what a woman takes away may be her own safety, or even life.

Link to Part One

Women's Aid Homepage

Refuge Homepage

Michelle Major talks about domestic violence: Part One

I recently wrote an article about domestic violence for Handbag.com and I was inspired by the women I spoke to, all of whom have experienced extreme pain and abuse at the hands of their so-called ‘loved ones’.

One of the women I interviewed was Michelle Major, an artist, teacher, and public speaker on domestic abuse.

After two years of an abusive marriage, Michelle’s husband slashed her paintings and in a brutal attack he beat her, strangled her and left her for dead.

Michelle escaped and lived to tell her tale. Her ex-husband is now in prison, and she is rebuilding her life and using her experience to help other women, be it through her artwork, her public speaking or discussing her story online.

Although she is mentioned in the Handbag.com article, I wanted to publish her full transcript here as well. I’ve published this in two parts, you can read Part Two here.

Here Michelle talks about how she coped with the violence, her faith, and discusses people’s perceptions on domestic violence. Her account is articulate, powerful and harrowing, and raises some very important points.

How did you find the strength to turn your experience of domestic violence into something constructive and positive?

No matter what trial I have ever gone through, I have relied on my faith to carry me through. This 'trial' was the ultimate test of my faith.

One day it clicked that I could either continue to drown in a pit of self pity and ultimately remain a victim - not only to my abuser, but to my own baggage - or I could consciously move forward, stop looking in the rear-view mirror and not only survive, but actually begin to live.

I feel like we are able to learn, grow and help others from all our experiences, not only the positive. So I asked God what could I take away to give to others from this nightmare. It certainly wasn't an overnight transformation, but it did happen.

One thing I realized was instrumental in my healing and moving forward was allowing myself to grieve the loss of my hopes, dreams, and my husband. I had to really experience the pain of all that loss, in addition to the trauma of a violent event.

So many people drown in their pain in order to avoid hurt. I faced the hurt head on, dealt with it and ultimately was able to move past that pain into the light.

As an artist, painting helped me face hurting, yet even if you aren't a painter things like writing, exercising, or just being alone with your thoughts and feelings can help you work through your grief.

Another important factor in finding strength to move forward is the realization you have to rely on yourself for strength. I have met many women who do not fully face their hurt because they turn to another human in hope that they can project their love onto that individual, or they turn to another for rescue.

I learned quickly the only person that can save you during this aftermath is yourself. Nobody else. Friends and family are wonderful and supportive, but it all boils down to finding your own strength—using your own voice.



What stops women from simply walking away?

I think that was my mindset once upon a time. What I realized during the two short years of being abused is that the abuse comes on so slowly that you don't even realize you are being abused until it becomes undeniable, and by then you are trapped by emotions, finances, and fear.

My husband was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive. He was also very manipulative and was able to twist all arguments around to where I was to blame.

I needed to do better. I pushed his buttons. If only I would do this or that he wouldn't be "set off".

I eventually stopped pushing back and defending myself, yet I would still 'set him off'.

Abuse is a no win situation. You cannot stop the abuser no matter what methods you try.

On the other hand, my husband was the most romantic and loving man I have ever met. He could sweep me off my feet with a song, a slow dance or just a look. I wanted that illusion of romantic love so badly, for that to be my husband, that I bought into the 'I'm sorry" and "I'll do better" and the "I can't live without you—help me be the man I am meant to be".

I wanted to believe in him so I turned a blind eye to the abuse, until the physical abuse became too undeniable.

For those of us who are familiar with domestic violence, we also know that 'just leaving' can easily become a matter of life and death for a victim. The abuser will not just let her leave.

Financial planning and escape plans are a must if you are being abused and are wanting to get out, because so often the threat of abuse can turn into attempted murder when leaving an abuser. I know. My husband continued to tell me he would kill me if I ever left and once I tried to leave, he tried to murder me by strangling me.

I have a college degree and have had an eighteen year career as a teacher, yet living on my own with a baby has been the hardest financial thing I have had to do. I do not know how women without the economical means or who have multiple children can just 'leave' an abuser.

It is totally clear to me how a woman can be bound emotionally and financially to her abuser. It's a horrible cycle and it is VERY difficult to break free. There is no black and white 'just leave' scenario.

Link to Part Two

Women's Aid homepage

Refuge Homepage

Old Blog on New Blog...

This is an old blog from my, well, old blog. It made me chuckle so I thought I'd reproduce it here. My humble thoughts on Condolezza Rice's 2006 visit to Blackburn and the North West...

Condolezza Rice Visits Blackburn Shocker
It has been suggested by a few cynics that the benevolent Mz. Rice's visit to Blackburn, Lancashire, is nothing more than a shoddy publicity stunt - a photo opportunity with a load of local working class Muslims in one of Blackburn's many Islamic Mosques.

But I say No! Surely not!

So I figured I'd compile a list of Blackburn's many attractions that I'm sure are the real reasons why Mz. Rice - International Pacifist and the Spreader of Feel-Good Will - is popping in to say hello.

Blackburn: What has it got to offer?
Well for a start Jack Straw and pals might want to take Mz. Rice to 'splash into action' at Waves - which sports a pink and blue wave pool, full to the brim with delicious germ soup.


Guarenteed to give any young child tonsilitis, cold sores, or bronchitis after one quick dip, it's the perfect breeding ground for pathogenic bacteria. You name it, your kid will catch it. You can even hire beach balls for 1.50, and theres a great communal jacuzzi for the parents!

Alternatively, with her busy schedule and hectic lifestyle Mz. Rice could treat herself to some much needed relaxing shopping therapy around Blackburn's State of the Art Arndale centre - home to retail outlets such as TK MAX, where I'm sure she'd be pleased to know that you can pick up designer gear for less than half the price. Blackburn also offers Superdrug, and Everythings A Pound - I can guarentee that she'll pick up some Amazing Bargains!

And if that's not enough, Mz Rice can Dine Out In Style at one of Blackburn's numerous eating establishments. There's a lot she can choose from - the ever popular McDonalds, Burger King, or even Kentucky Fried Chicken. Spoiled for choice, Mz. Rice will probably not want to leave!

Finally, to end a "Blackburn Day of Fun", she could choose to enjoy the local youth culture and go ice-skating, or even hang around the recently refurbished Blackburn bus station. Don't worry Mz. Rice, even though there's no bar you can purchase our finest bottled cider from our local drinking shops - I recommend Kiwi 20/20, you can even have it without ice...

I'm sure that Mz. Rice will have receive a warm, sunny 'Blackburn Welcome' during her visit. And with a bit of luck she might even end up 'Dropping Her Chips'...

As they say in them there parts - Ey' up Chuck!

Guest Blog! Wayne Teague on the reVamp of the Horror flick

Re-make, re-boot, or re-imagine?

Looking towards the next few months of cinema releases you may notice one or five horror flicks about to descend on your local multiplex.

Now hands up in back who knew that Friday The 13th is a remake. About half of you? Last House on the Left? My Bloody Valentine 3-D? Anyone? Anyone beside the man at the back with the Sideshow Bob hair and World of Warcraft T-Shirt? Exactly as I thought. Now get yourself on IMDB, key in any of the above titles and you'll see at least one hundred and one people getting their knickers in a twist. Why? Well fanboys out there don’t like anybody touching the Sacred Cows of Horror.

They assume because they know these films of old (well late 70’s early 80’s) then everyone should, and they should revere them as they do.

Now I'm a horror film junkie, but would never expect anyone else out there to know that Last House on the Left was Wes Craven's first film, that the producer of Last House on the Left went on to direct the original Friday the 13th, or that My Bloody Valentine had 9 minutes of gore cut by the MPAA.

By the same token I recognise that these films, whilst classics to horror buffs, mean nothing to mainstream cinema viewers. So why not remake them a bit flashier with a prettier cast so the kids watching these flicks can go back to the originals and delve back into the murkier depths of the horror genre?

I welcome a good remake (see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes reboots) and detest bad ones (Prom Night, April Fools Day….urgh).

Horror films run in cycles, be it Haunted house/Slasher/J-Horror/torture porn, and when their time is up (normally by about the 5th sequel for the first successful film of that cycle) we move onto the next - normally a retread of one that has gone before.

So right now we are entering the third slasher cycle, the first being the mid 70’s to early 80’s, the second from Scream in 1996 to Scream 3 in 2000, and now we have the "slasher reboot" cycle. I do hope that these new retreads will stay true to the originals whilst introducing the characters to a wider audience. FT13th, the most successful original of this new remake cycle, deserves the reboot after a succession of more nonsensical sequels culminating in the truly dire Freddy Vs Jason.

Hopefully the new Jason will scare the Bejesus out of a whole new generation of kids (PHs. for the fans online bemoaning the fact that Jason runs in the new film, check out FT13th parts 2-4 and I think you’ll find he occasionally moved at a sprightly pace in those) So for all the haters out there, wait till you’ve seen the remakes before getting the (Re)boot in, and remember these films aren’t for you, there for the new kids on the block who’ve never heard of Jason or Michael or The Miner or Crosby or Krug & Co. For any horror fans out there check out www.bloodydisgusting.com and www.arrorwinthehead.com for all your horror fix needs.

(c) 2009 Wayne Teague

Another fabulous anti-politician article. There's a pattern emerging here...

Charlie Brooker has pulled his finger out of his bottom and produced this splendid article.

Brooker spits vitriol better than most people, and this time it's against the politicians who have led us into an illegal war, and condoned and aided in the torture of terrorism suspects thereby undermining our democratic and legal system (making martyrs out of potential mass murderers in the process). The politicans who helped create a culture where it's acceptable for the government to spy on it's own people, and where the general populace is treated with absolute, utter contempt.

New Labour, Tory or Lib Dem, there is little difference, and we're left with few political options. It's a matter of time before left- and right-extremists crawl out of the woodwork and start having a field day. And according to the Daily Star (I know, I know...) BNP are already stoking the 'Summer of Rage' (which has been labelled before it's even happened). And New Labour will only have themselves to blame.

Never in a million years did I think that the Labour government (or New Labour, as it is now) would be such an insidiously awful administration. I deeply regret giving them my vote.

At least with the Tories you know what you're getting: they're a bunch of snakes who will stab you in the back as soon as look at you. You'd have to be out of your mind to vote them in.

But New Labour were wolves in sheeps clothing. They decieved and betrayed the electorate and have morphed into a morally and financially bankrupt government. And now I can't figure out which one is worse.